Moving in together – across country. Really?

The Golden Gate

To move in or not to move in: that is the question

Sherry (admits to “over 50”) and Claude (62) met online. They exchanged four e-mails, enjoyed two lengthy phone calls, and on the first date, both were very carefully falling in love. They both like Woody Allen, Mountain Winery concerts, old San Francisco, traveling to Santa Fe for the opera, Carmel, Wagner, and visiting National Parks.

She likes fiction. He likes nonfiction.  He loves butter, cream, and eggs.  She’s more of an advocate for quinoa, vegetables, and exploring the aisles of Whole Foods. They were the same age, had been through painful divorces, had launched their kids, were finishing up careers and both were seriously thinking about retirement.

He has a condo in San Francisco on Nob Hill, a doorman, spectacular views of both bridges; rarely drives – walks everywhere, and knows San Francisco like the back of his hand She lives in a tiny cottage in Redwood City- with a charming garden, a hot tub – there is no lawn to mow, no big home to maintain, just sunny weather, parking galore, and she has privacy, solitude, and a huge deck for entertaining –which she does with great frequency. She belongs to a book club, a Pilates class, and volunteers at film festivals and the Museum – he says she has ‘a Rolodex full of girlfriends.’

She works from home for three very demanding clients.

A Moving Experience On their one-year anniversary, they drove north on Highway 101 to the Victorian village of Ferndale and explored the area and the beautiful redwood parks.  Over crab cocktails in Eureka he suggested she move into his spacious condo in San Francisco.  He had a second bedroom that could easily be made into her office or study.  He listed the many positive aspects of living in San Francisco – such an exciting location and – more importantly- of living together.

She was thinking of the whipping winds and fog rolling in, parking challenges, the din of the neighborhood, the claustrophobic feeling of being so close to your neighbors, no garden…her mental list of “cons” grew incrementally. She was very happy with their arrangement. They were together all weekend and one or two nights a week.

Two of her 50-ish friends had ‘living situations’ with beaus – they kept separate residences and saw one another frequently. The couples said they embraced their privacy and alone time and claimed they were very happy with the arrangements. She pondered.  Moving in together and moving away?  Then his boss offered him a position in Florida as VP of his department.  The assignment would be for 18 months with the caveat that he would return to San Francisco six times a year for meetings. The offer was a promotion with great benefits – and would most likely be his last position with the company. Thrilled at the prospect, he called and invited her to join him on this new adventure. She had been to Miami several times and  loved the exciting city.

As she started thinking about crowds, summers, the weather, and the distance from her family and her friends her mood changed.

Her best friend said, “Go for it! It’s only for a year or so and you’ll come back here every few months. Just do it. Candace, her neighbor – an Eileen Fisher model, 65, tango dancer with a shock of silver hair said, “Men? I go dancing once a week.  I just want to be in the arms of a man for one hour –and then go home to my cats and I’m happy.”  Another cat woman? She was dizzy with input from her myriad friends and her love for this man – who was kinder, more thoughtful and generous than anyone she had ever met. She looked forward to their weekends together and suffered withdrawal when he left her on Sunday evenings…

Things fall into place Her best friend from Del Mar  took an artist in residence gig at the Oakland Museum and needed a place to stay – voila: the perfect house sitter.  She told her clients of her plans. No one batted an eye. She had a family and best friends meeting and affirmed the news…

She spoke to her accountant, primary physician, and her hairdresser and – all systems were “go.” After one exhausting visit to South Florida – looking- locating and deciding on their new address – and much preparation- packing, planning, organizing -combined with several Going-Away-for-Awhile-Parties- the couple  was off.

Bon Voyage!

Let the adventure begin. Would you be as brave?

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Going to a party? Top 5 Flirting Tips

simple, smart, succinct…sexy.

It doesn’t take a genius to Master the Art of Flirting

Do this! Here are five very effective Flirting Techniques:

#1. Look – The eyes have it: The first tip of successful flirting involves Eye Contact. Let’s say you see somebody you think is attractive. Let your eyes linger- just for a bit.  Smile, look back,  and don’t look away.

#2. Laugh – Everybody likes to think they have a great sense of humor. If you want to score points and attention- laugh at the witty statement be them corny or funny. 

#3. Listen – Everyone wants to be heard. When this new person is speaking, listen to what they have to say while looking them in the eyes. Keen flirtatious listening always involves eye contact.

#4. The touch of love– just like the song. A surefire connection is as simple as a light touch on the wrist, elbow, or arm during the course of the conversation.  Amy G tells every guy she meets, “You are so funny.” and she places her hand on his. Home run every time.

#5. Put your hands on your hips. This classic Body Language 101 tells it all – You are open and interested and available. If you don’t like the person, very often we cross our hands over our chest which is the international language for “You’re not doing it for me. I’m about to leave.” The way you stand- facing the person next to-you  not turned away- speaks volumes. Try it.

 

Don’t do this on first date

 

Oops, I did it again! Two Big dating mistakes

 

Too much, too soon, too fast – That long and flirty exchange of e-mails – for a week or two- is a big mistake.

Texting back and forth all day long before your first date is a huge Dating Blunder -unless you are looking for a pen pal.  Expectations grow and grow and become way out of proportion. Way.

You expect a sexy, flirty Brad Pitt kind of a guy. Your name is Penny and you are petite, with long dark hair and he expects Penelope Cruz or a perfect Barbie Doll…

Sometimes when you meet, face-to-face those grandiose expectations fall flat.  Texting pithy one-liners is not the same as carrying on a conversation.

 Nuts!

Exchanging ideas and dreams – pre first date?  Don’t waste your time and valuable time and energy with fabulous flirting via e-mail.

Keep your eyes open – it is so easy to get blinded by a crush – sometimes we forget the goal is to carefully, nonchalantly, check a person out.

Meeting for cocktails– Maybe you think that a first date should be for smart cocktails at a glam joint. It sounds sexy and fun and you love going to Union Square…

 

One drink is a great idea.  Two drinks could be okay…three- are generally pushing it, and anything beyond that – is a very bad idea. Why?

Your brain will be murky by Makers Mark or clouded by Clos de chardonnay – and you will be compromised and vulnerable; your standards will have dissipated and your “Top 10 Things I’m Looking for in a Date” flies out the window when a modicum of charm, and champagne cocktails blind you.

Take it easy. Take your time. Set limits.

 

You aren’t getting any younger – says who?

Age is a Many Splintered Thing~~~

Suddenly Single in Marin

glasss photoDylan Thomas was right.

Don’t go gentle into the night…

Linda, 75, calls them “Old Dolls” – elderly women trying desperately to look decades younger.

Her neighbor, Eve, is 80 and admits to being around-60. Eve wears a Joey Heatherton (‘60’s) blonde wig, a padded, push-up bra, leggings, spiky false eyelashes and fake fingernails. She shops in the teenage section and buys all of her jewelry at H&M. She ruefully admits her days of wearing super, high-heels are over…she defers to trendy leopard print ballet slippers. Eve says, “When you are hot, you’re hot!”

More than once, men have admired Eve from the back- and are quite surprised to find out- she’s older – like 40 years older, than they thought.

Getting Around

Eve refuses to use a walker in public. She has a cane, decorated with pastel ribbons, reserved for special occasions. (i.e. long walks)

Her close, male…

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My Top 10 Florida Observations

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Top 10 things I learned about Florida

  1. The drivers in Florida are infamous for being are the worst in the nation.
  2. The produce is a lot more expensive- and you are spoiled in California.
  3. Everything is located in a strip mall: doctors, dentists, gourmet restaurants.
  4. There are big box stores everywhere- BJ’s, Wal-Mart, Kmart, Marshall’s.
  5. Dunkin’ Donuts is on every street corner; Floridians eat a lot of donuts.
  6. It’s hard to find a Wi-Fi cafés.  It is hard to find a “coffee shop.”
  7. There are no bookstores. (Those two or three Barnes & Noble don’t count)
  8. Rain can fall in buckets, and miraculously cause traffic to crawl – then clear up instantaneously.
  9. The summertime clouds in Florida are breathtakingly spectacular. The hot, sticky humidity isn’t.

10. Everyone goes to the beach on the weekends- and it’s impossible to find a parking place- especially in light of the fact they just razed an 800-car parking garage.

Book club in Miami

And…There is a reason 1,000 people

per day

move to Florida.

All my Life …I was on Tender hooks

 

 

We are a family of Fishermen and Women.

We all were given fishing poles for Christmas.  My brother is a world-famous fishing guide – dividing his time between Montana and various Argentina fishing sites.

When were were excited about a jaunt to a famous fishing hole – we might say,  “We are on tenderhooks.”

Little did we know…however, this Christmas – hooked on the holidays as we are- we might tie a few flys…and discuss pronunciations:

wood-2628286__340Tenters were originally large wooden frames which were used as far back as the 14th century in the process of making woollen cloth. …

By the mid-18th century, the phrase “on tenterhooks” came to mean being in a state of tension, uneasiness, anxiety, or suspense, i.e. figuratively stretched like the cloth on the tenter.

via Daily Prompt: Tenterhooks

A Gift: 45’s Tax Plan for his best friends

 

“…But according to an analysis by Americans for Tax Fairness, the plan would cut between $6.7 and $8.3 trillion over the next ten years, and those cuts would “largely benefit the richest Americans and biggest corporations.”

What’s more, as much as $3 to $5 trillion wouldn’t be offset by closing loopholes and eliminating deductions, and “the resulting jump in the deficit threatens funding of Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, public education and other vital services.”

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#45 would also repeal the estate tax, which would provide a huge windfall for His Own Family and another 5,400 Estates that face the tax nationwide, according to Chloe Choe at The Center for Budget and Policy Priorities.

Bill Moyers

 

 

The Age of Nefarious

Age

Breaking News: Floods of “Liberals” slip into Canada

The following News Story was updated and improved.

No plagiarism involved. Well, maybe a bit, eh? 

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Breaking News: Hordes of “US Liberals” slipping into Canada!

News Update from Canada, eh?

 Floods of Trump-fearing/GOP TAX Bill loathing  American Liberals are disgusted  with recent events. Their rage is prompting an exodus of Americans who fear they’ll soon be penniless, be required to buy a gun, build a fence, read the president-elect books, and live according to the “new” updated My Way or the Highway Constitution.

Canadian Border residents say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of Singles, Families, Sociology professors, Medicare loving/Social Security fans and Global-Warming Believers, and “Green” energy proponents crossing their fields at night.

“I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer and his entire family huddled in the barn,” said Quebec farmer, Rouge Greenfield. “They were cold, exhausted and hungry, and begged me for a croissant and some French Fries. When I said I didn’t have any, they left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”

Something fishy? In an effort to stop the so-called illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the limber Democratic Liberals nibly scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Sara Palin and Kevin Bannon across the fields, but they just sang, “If I had a Hammer” and kept coming.

Officials are particularly concerned about savvy Canadian smugglers who meet The Liberals  just south of the border, pack them into electric cars, and drive them across the border; where the batteries die and they are are ditched and left to fend for themselves, “These people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Alberta border patrolman said.  “I found one bereft carload without a single bottle of Perrier water or quinoa.  All they had was a nice little Napa Valley Pinot and some stale kale chips. When they are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing that they fear taunting and persecution from Terrible Trump Trumpets and Pensive Pence Patrol.

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Whatta Zoo!

Numerous Canadian citizens have complained that these ” Democrats aka illegal immigrants” are creating an epic organic-broccoli shortage, are buying up all the Leonard Cohen CD’s and are overloading the Canadian Internet while downloading yoga and meditation apps to their iPhones. “

Rumors are circulating about plans using the many old, failed, Trump properties as re-education camps where Liberals will be forced to watch “The Apprentice,” buy a gun, patrol the  walls, deal with a flood of ‘bizarro world’ new – laws.

Threats of Hair-comb overs, mandatory orange hair dye jobs and tanning salons mandates are all over Twitter.

However, in recent days, Liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Faux SightseeingBus Tours – seeking new homes with entire households being shipped in weeks to come.

Some clever escapees have been disguised as Senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. Not a new event. Post the phony Pharma act, scores of Americans seek housing in Canada.

After catching dozens young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, smart Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed “Senior citizens” about Captain Kangaroo, Perry Mason, Chubby Checker to prove that they were alive in the ’50s. “If they can’t identify the secretary on the Perry Mason Show, we become very suspicious about their age,” an official said.

“Oh! Canada” said, “I really feel sorry for American Liberals who are escaping Trump World , but the Canadian economy just can’t support them.” “After all, how many English majors does one country need?”

53eaba_b45ffd88ba7c4d55a0092bbc8f61ed52Fish

Zoo