Finally, a guy, ANON, has taken the time to write and create
A List of Rules for a Perfect Relationship:
From the Manly Man Point of View
Note: Because these are The Manly Men Rules they are all numbered ‘1’ for a purpose: each is equally as important.
1. Men are not mind readers. We are rugged, brawny, handsome and handy – we just don’t have the ESP gene – spell it o-u-t, sweetheart.
1. Sunday Sports are of the highest importance. They’re like the full moon, or the stars, the sky – our True North. It’s not the day to drag us to mall and make us hold your suitcase-sized purse as you try on 15 pair of identical black slacks. We crave Sunday Sports – be a sport – and hand us the remote control, please.images
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about…unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football. Or Golf. Baseball. Tennis. Ping Pong. Bowling. Biking. Hiking. Rowing. Camping.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work. Strong, loud, hints don’t work. Call us primitive – it is obvious your soft, cute little hints are not effective. You don’t ask – you don’t get…
1. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. We are succinct. Especially during commercials.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you really want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy, gossip, chatting endlessly are what your wonderful girlfriends are for. Use them.
1. Memories: Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and Void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you might be – or you are looking for a compliment… and reassurance…first check a mirror, then come to us…and, Never on a Sunday.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we really meant the other one. Honest.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. If you want company and camaraderie – ask us. After you’ve called your girl friends.
1. Commercial Value: whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the TV commercials.
1.Following our bliss: Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions. Pride prevents us from breaking the mold. Work with us—that’s why God invented maps and GPS.
1. The Color of the Wind: All men see in only 16 colors, like the Windows default settings. We all know Tangerine, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. Chartreuse is a drink…We are a little color blind.
1. If we ask ‘what is wrong’ and you say ‘nothing,’ we will act like nothing’s wrong. Of course, we know you are less than honest, but, darlin, it’s just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question that you really don’t want an answer to, Girl up, and expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. Skirting the issue: When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… really.
P.S. Thank you for reading this.
(The author adds: “Yeah, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight…Manly Men really don’t mind that…It’s just like camping. But different. Sweet dreams. See you in the morning? Right? Hey, those jeans really make you look thin. Really.”)