Oops! I did it again! Today’s Top Three big dating mistakes
1) Too much, too soon, too fast – That long and flirty exchange of e-mails – for a week or two- is a big mistake. Texting back and forth all day long before your first date is a dating blunder -unless you are looking for a pen pal. Expectations grow and grow and become way out of proportion: a. You expect a sexy, flirty Brad Pitt kind of a guy. Your name is Penny and you are petite, with long dark hair and he expects Penelope Cruz. b. Sometimes when you meet, face-to- face those grandiose expectations fall flat. Texting pithy one-liners is not the same as carrying on a conversation. Exchanging ideas and dreams- pre first date? Don’t waste your time and valuable time and energy with fabulous flirting via Email.
Keep your eyes open – blinded by a crush -sometimes we forget the goal is to carefully, nonchalantly, check a person out.
2) Meeting for Cocktails– Maybe you think that a first date should be for smart cocktails at a glam joint. It sounds sexy and fun and you love going to Union Square… One drink is a great idea. Two drinks are generally pushing it, and anything beyond that – is a very bad idea. Why? Your brain will be murky by Makers Mark or clouded by Clos de chardonnay – and you will be compromised and vulnerable; your standards will have dissipated and your “Top 10 Things I’m Looking for in a Date” flies out the window when a modicum of charm, and champagne cocktails blind you. Take it easy. Take your time. Set limits.
Dessert or desert?
3) Dinner Date on First Date… A First Date/Coffee Date can last from 15 minutes to an hour. This is perfect amount of time to ascertain if you are a match – or if there is potential. You check one another out, you do a subtle mental inventory and you know, “All engines running. Liftoff! We have a liftoff!” Or “Next! Dead end.”
Stick to coffee dates, walks, and casual encounters before doing a prolonged dinner date. A meal at a nice restaurant can last 60+ minutes – or more. It can be the best of times – or – oh, darn! The worst of times.
Hey, you may notice your date is rude, a non-stop talker, a boor, a boozer, a flirt with everyone but you…you get the idea. Before investing time in a mere coffee- date-caliber- person – do your homework, talk on the phone, ask questions, Google the person.
In the beginning, on every date: be on guard- remember, there’s no reason to divulge your income, address, rank, serial number…or all the private little details from your last relationship. Less is more.
Take it me from me – this is really good advice.
A Piece of Advice