Quack! Quack! Doctor LookOut


New in Town and Looking For a New Doctor

Abby M. moved to Florida from the Other Coast and searched high and low for a new Internist. She said she scoured the Blue Shield /Blue Cross Directories and knew she didn’t want a Russian or a South American physician.

Feeling like Goldilocks  She did her due diligence: one Dr was too far away, one was too old, one was too strange. Then she found Dr Bill. He scored well on ‘Health Grades’.

There is no Yelp for Doctors in Florida. Why?

She found the medical building in a strip mall and walked into the office. There were posters taped to the walls. The tape was peeling. There was a display case with odd and ends of vitamins. The receptionist had very, very, long  purple nails. Her braided hair was a shade of red-orange-ish. Her skin was brown and leathery. She didn’t look healthy. She gave Abby forms to fill out. The forms had been xeroxed so many times the print was blurry and virtually impossible to read.

Abby indicated she had filled out the forms online.

And, then she waited. For 45 minutes. She said she almost walked out several times. Posters? Purple nails?

Finally, she was shown to the intake room. Dr Bill was a cordial man of about 35. He listened attentively, did a cursory check of eyes, ears, tongue, heart/lungs and listened to her short list of ailments.  He said he would have to do blood tests to establish a baseline.

The Doctor warned Abby– a Very Large Medical bill would come from the insurance company. He told her not to panic. The bill would go away. He repeated the message.


A girl led Abby to a room down the hall. Evidently, it was the Blood Test Room.  It doubled as the room for storing urine samples- which lined the shelves. There were Dozens of open urine samples.

Numerous and various blood draws happened. As Abby left, she was told her results would be ready in 30 days.

In the meantime, a huge bill – $4,000.00- came from the insurance company.

Abby went to the follow up appt and told Dr Bill a very heavy elephant was sitting in her chest in the form of a hefty bill. He laughed and said “it will go away.”

The Doctor then reviewed a 14 page document with her – her blood test results. 


Rosetta Stone Required?

The Dr scanned the 14 pages – circled some items- highlighted a few.

On the last page he wrote: Drink more water, eat less sugar, eat more salmon – wild and take 4000 iu Vitamin D.

Ta da! That was it.

Fourteen pages of test results. (The  $4000.00 bill evaporated.) to get exactly what health tips Oprah had suggested in her magazine the month before. And, the month before…


Taking Action? Who are you going to call? 

Action is the highest perfection and drawing forth of the utmost power, vigor, and activity of man’s nature.

Robert South




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2 thoughts on “Quack! Quack! Doctor LookOut

  1. […] Caution: Quack Alert- Dr Quack  https://myammynew.wordpress.com/2016/11/28/quack-quack-doctor/ […]


  2. myammynew August 26, 2018 at 6:55 PM Reply

    Reblogged this on Myammy! Moving in together at 50… and commented:

    Beware the Florida Scammers posing as Dr’s


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