Monthly Archives: November 2017

He snores – she snores? Aw, come on!


They moved in together – Moon, Spoon, June: pure bliss?

Last May, Carly rolled her eyes and said that living with Don was bliss-perfection-more wonderful than she had imagined. Except for that one flaw. Flaw? Mr. Wonderful? Mr. tall, dark, handsome, highly successful and happy Don?   She whispered, “He snores. A little like a small water buffalo.” How bad was it? Move to another bedroom bad or just earplugs and melatonin bad? She was discreet in all their affairs, and merely waved her hand and tsk-ed, “Oh, not that bad.”

Flash forward to now-and Carly is no longer fluffing this one off.

She has dark circles under her eyes and the Bobbi Brown concealer barely hides them. And she will quietly share she just had the first good night’s sleep in weeks, because Don had gone to a meeting in Toronto.

She reveled in the nocturnal silence. She thought about taping “The Quietude of the Boudoir” as a meditation tape she could play back with her Bose headphones when Don returned.    She dismissed the idea as silly, but the night before he returned-she turned on her tape player to record three hours of white noise and pure silence. The next morning, she tucked it away in the bedside table.

Don’s return was highly anticipated. Carly shopped, prepped, and cooked his favorite meal to eat by candlelight, accompanied by Miles Davis and Keith Jarrett on their cool, old, record player. He was clearly exhausted. He had a three-hour delay in Denver, missed an airline connection and was beat. After dinner, they retired to the bedroom – within minutes he was out and snoring.

For Carly, the week of silence had been purely intoxicating and was now a distant memory as the cacophony of snorts, airbursts and coughs punctuated the night.

The tape!  Proud of her white-noise-invention, she found her Bose headphones and the mini-tape player and placed them on her side of the bed. She cleansed, toned, moisturized, and climbed into bed next to her amore as he belted raucous snores. Blissfully, she listened to her newly created, perfect, white noise tape. She could barely hear the muffled rustling of her satin duvet. As she was relaxing into silence, she heard a strange noise.

Something was wrong with the tape. It must be flawed. She heard a rush of air and a soft wheezing sound. The machine must be broken. Then she heard the pattern again. Louder.  Snoring! Had she taped Don and forgotten?

No, as she listened to the shocking snorting noise, she sadly discovered she, too, snored. Softly – but, she had a small problem. She would erase the tape in the morning and head off to the health food store for Melatonin. And, maybe soothing, sleep inducing  Belleruth Naperstek ‎ tape, earplugs might be good…brandy…her mind was whirling- while the love of her life was sleeping like a baby.

Damn him. Sweet dreams….photo_8735_20081228

What is your panacea? Tell me! myammy101@gmail.com

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Who Sleeps Where? Are you a Kitten or a Dog…

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Corruption 101:Ross & Russian Ties

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 #45’s Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross’ partner on a massive Russian Natural Gas Business Venture is married to Vladimir Putin’s daughter. 

That we knew.

But Reuters is reporting late Tuesday that the previously unknown mystery daughter has finally been outed and identified.

Cancel Vacation to Alabama? Yes!

There is No Sweet Home Alabama…

We Avoid Pedophiles, Predators….and the very sick Roy Moore…

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And…The Gov Stepped down, too

MONTGOMERY, Ala. — Gov. Robert Bentley resigned Monday, his power and popularity diminished by a Sex Scandal that Staggered the State and brought him to the brink of Impeachment and prompted a series of Criminal Investigations.

Ellen Brooks, a special prosecutor, said Mr. Bentley Quit in connection with a plea agreement on two misdemeanor charges: failing to file a major contribution report and knowingly converting campaign contributions to personal use. He pleaded guilty Monday afternoon.

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Another Alabama Whacko?

One Way Ticket – get outa town!

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One-Way

A Night Owl and a Mourning Person- Merry Christmas?

Holidays can be heavenly…or hell….

Myammy! Moving in together at 50...

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Good Bye, California and Cashmere!

And turtle-necks, leather boots, scarves, and gloves, berets, blazers, and wool coats…

Hello Flip flops, sandals, T-shrts, sundresses, capris

and suncreen in December

(and January, February, March…)

To the land of No reindeer – lots of Pink Flamingos –

No Snow-flakes – Lots of Snow-cones…and Snow birds.

She was a night owl… he was a ‘mourning’ person.

They were polar opposites and very attracted.

She was peppy and perky and reveled in all the trappings of Christmas – from candy canes and wreaths, Christmas carols on the radio 10 hours a day, to red and white sweaters, socks and  warm hats, and mittens and mistletoe.

He was a Hanukah kind of guy. Not that merry – not that happy.

The six month sabbatical in South Florida was a meant be a lark – it turned out to be more of albatross.

She slept during the day – he was up early…

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Robert’s Rules of Order Vs Trumps Tricks

The Departing Consumer-Finance Director played it smart.

Richard Cordray clearly moved to thwart Trump by appointing a new deputy director, Leandra English  before resigning.

Cordray — signaling that the Bureau has no intention of letting the president name his own acting director.

For her part, Leandra English isn’t backing down. Brava!

On Sunday, English also sued Trump and Mulvaney in federal court, pointing out that the Dodd-Frank Act which established the CFPB clearly states she is next in the line of succession at the agency.

Mick Mulvaney

Old #45: Not so popular…


November 27, 2017

Only 41 percent approve of the job Trump is doing.

Don’t let the same dog bite you twice.

Chuck Berry

Bite

Yikes! The holidays are upon us, already?

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Holiday Madness:

… on my heels like so many barking, braying, hunting dogs as I skip along darting in and out of shops and websites thinking: turkey, cranberry, gifts for the ex-in-laws, coal for the Ex, a necktie for lousy lover from EHarmony with ego the size of the Transamerica Pyramid.

***Bake cookies for therapists, Life Coach, trainer, and running partners.

***Order pencils with names emblazoned upon them for writing group.

Like wolves howling at a full moon: The threats of holiday madness – scratching at my door.

The frenetic and the frantic and I’m so freaked

There are the cards, the cookies, cranberry, the dreidels, the Christmas Carols, Ted and Alices, for dinner parties. Book club gifts, Stitch and Bitch trinkets to buy, tchotchkes for the Pilates pals (all those overachievers with Botox- so much Botox.)

Purchase Papyrus holiday cards for clients and Ex- clients and commence with the annual scouring the address book for once a year pals – they are the Hallmark friends- the list grows longer every year.

Do I compose a Christmas letter one filled with fallacy and fol der rol? Embellished to the max to make a dull life look like Florida perfect, sunshine, beaches, lush gardens, multiple beaus, and a social calendar ablaze with what’s haute and hot?

I have a cadre of fans– who long for my Sunshine State life and they are buried in snow in dull times three Pennsylvania and Upstate New York, Wisconsin, and Montana.

They want to read about my romances and rendezvous -my glamorous weekend jaunts to the resorts, the Keys, San Diego and Beverly Hills.

There is no way I can tell them the truth.

I’m not a well-rehearsed, practiced, fiction writer for nothing!

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