Category Archives: Dating

Her Motto: Will Date for Food

To say Annette was an opportunist only begins to describe the the woman from Rio.  (Rio Del, Humboldt County)

She is a striking brunette – both buxom and brassy. She attracted men like a moth to a flame. Whether it was charisma, phernomes or a magnetic attraction- none of her friends understood the dynamic. They merely watched as men dropped hints and business cards and asked her out every night of the week.

She didn’t actually wear a T-shirt that said “Will date for food,” but Annette had created a list of the Top 20 Restaurants in Miami and her goal was to leave her mark and dine at a dozen of the “Top 20” each month.

Her success rate was staggering.  Pubbelly, YardBird, Upland, The Bazaar, Pan E Vino, Stubborn Seed were all on her “Been there done that” list.

She was torn between liking a guy or just going out to dinner.

Her secret motto is: A girls got to eat. Her pals kidded that her refrigerator looked like a kennel  with dozens of Doggie Bags lining the shelves.

Annette was happy. Oblivious. And out to lunch – and dinner – all week long.

Eventually she decided she was craving karats…and she started a whole new campaign.

Soup Kitchen Lines

 

 

Torn

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Going to a party? Top 5 Flirting Tips

simple, smart, succinct…sexy.

It doesn’t take a genius to Master the Art of Flirting

Do this! Here are five very effective Flirting Techniques:

#1. Look – The eyes have it: The first tip of successful flirting involves Eye Contact. Let’s say you see somebody you think is attractive. Let your eyes linger- just for a bit.  Smile, look back,  and don’t look away.

#2. Laugh – Everybody likes to think they have a great sense of humor. If you want to score points and attention- laugh at the witty statement be them corny or funny. 

#3. Listen – Everyone wants to be heard. When this new person is speaking, listen to what they have to say while looking them in the eyes. Keen flirtatious listening always involves eye contact.

#4. The touch of love– just like the song. A surefire connection is as simple as a light touch on the wrist, elbow, or arm during the course of the conversation.  Amy G tells every guy she meets, “You are so funny.” and she places her hand on his. Home run every time.

#5. Put your hands on your hips. This classic Body Language 101 tells it all – You are open and interested and available. If you don’t like the person, very often we cross our hands over our chest which is the international language for “You’re not doing it for me. I’m about to leave.” The way you stand- facing the person next to-you  not turned away- speaks volumes. Try it.

 

Don’t do this on first date

 

Oops, I did it again! Two Big dating mistakes

 

Too much, too soon, too fast – That long and flirty exchange of e-mails – for a week or two- is a big mistake.

Texting back and forth all day long before your first date is a huge Dating Blunder -unless you are looking for a pen pal.  Expectations grow and grow and become way out of proportion. Way.

You expect a sexy, flirty Brad Pitt kind of a guy. Your name is Penny and you are petite, with long dark hair and he expects Penelope Cruz or a perfect Barbie Doll…

Sometimes when you meet, face-to-face those grandiose expectations fall flat.  Texting pithy one-liners is not the same as carrying on a conversation.

 Nuts!

Exchanging ideas and dreams – pre first date?  Don’t waste your time and valuable time and energy with fabulous flirting via e-mail.

Keep your eyes open – it is so easy to get blinded by a crush – sometimes we forget the goal is to carefully, nonchalantly, check a person out.

Meeting for cocktails– Maybe you think that a first date should be for smart cocktails at a glam joint. It sounds sexy and fun and you love going to Union Square…

 

One drink is a great idea.  Two drinks could be okay…three- are generally pushing it, and anything beyond that – is a very bad idea. Why?

Your brain will be murky by Makers Mark or clouded by Clos de chardonnay – and you will be compromised and vulnerable; your standards will have dissipated and your “Top 10 Things I’m Looking for in a Date” flies out the window when a modicum of charm, and champagne cocktails blind you.

Take it easy. Take your time. Set limits.

 

He snores – she snores? Aw, come on!


They moved in together – Moon, Spoon, June: pure bliss?

Last May, Carly rolled her eyes and said that living with Don was bliss-perfection-more wonderful than she had imagined. Except for that one flaw. Flaw? Mr. Wonderful? Mr. tall, dark, handsome, highly successful and happy Don?   She whispered, “He snores. A little like a small water buffalo.” How bad was it? Move to another bedroom bad or just earplugs and melatonin bad? She was discreet in all their affairs, and merely waved her hand and tsk-ed, “Oh, not that bad.”

Flash forward to now-and Carly is no longer fluffing this one off.

She has dark circles under her eyes and the Bobbi Brown concealer barely hides them. And she will quietly share she just had the first good night’s sleep in weeks, because Don had gone to a meeting in Toronto.

She reveled in the nocturnal silence. She thought about taping “The Quietude of the Boudoir” as a meditation tape she could play back with her Bose headphones when Don returned.    She dismissed the idea as silly, but the night before he returned-she turned on her tape player to record three hours of white noise and pure silence. The next morning, she tucked it away in the bedside table.

Don’s return was highly anticipated. Carly shopped, prepped, and cooked his favorite meal to eat by candlelight, accompanied by Miles Davis and Keith Jarrett on their cool, old, record player. He was clearly exhausted. He had a three-hour delay in Denver, missed an airline connection and was beat. After dinner, they retired to the bedroom – within minutes he was out and snoring.

For Carly, the week of silence had been purely intoxicating and was now a distant memory as the cacophony of snorts, airbursts and coughs punctuated the night.

The tape!  Proud of her white-noise-invention, she found her Bose headphones and the mini-tape player and placed them on her side of the bed. She cleansed, toned, moisturized, and climbed into bed next to her amore as he belted raucous snores. Blissfully, she listened to her newly created, perfect, white noise tape. She could barely hear the muffled rustling of her satin duvet. As she was relaxing into silence, she heard a strange noise.

Something was wrong with the tape. It must be flawed. She heard a rush of air and a soft wheezing sound. The machine must be broken. Then she heard the pattern again. Louder.  Snoring! Had she taped Don and forgotten?

No, as she listened to the shocking snorting noise, she sadly discovered she, too, snored. Softly – but, she had a small problem. She would erase the tape in the morning and head off to the health food store for Melatonin. And, maybe soothing, sleep inducing  Belleruth Naperstek ‎ tape, earplugs might be good…brandy…her mind was whirling- while the love of her life was sleeping like a baby.

Damn him. Sweet dreams….photo_8735_20081228

What is your panacea? Tell me! myammy101@gmail.com

kiss 

Who Sleeps Where? Are you a Kitten or a Dog…

Yikes! The holidays are upon us, already?

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Holiday Madness:

… on my heels like so many barking, braying, hunting dogs as I skip along darting in and out of shops and websites thinking: turkey, cranberry, gifts for the ex-in-laws, coal for the Ex, a necktie for lousy lover from EHarmony with ego the size of the Transamerica Pyramid.

***Bake cookies for therapists, Life Coach, trainer, and running partners.

***Order pencils with names emblazoned upon them for writing group.

Like wolves howling at a full moon: The threats of holiday madness – scratching at my door.

The frenetic and the frantic and I’m so freaked

There are the cards, the cookies, cranberry, the dreidels, the Christmas Carols, Ted and Alices, for dinner parties. Book club gifts, Stitch and Bitch trinkets to buy, tchotchkes for the Pilates pals (all those overachievers with Botox- so much Botox.)

Purchase Papyrus holiday cards for clients and Ex- clients and commence with the annual scouring the address book for once a year pals – they are the Hallmark friends- the list grows longer every year.

Do I compose a Christmas letter one filled with fallacy and fol der rol? Embellished to the max to make a dull life look like Florida perfect, sunshine, beaches, lush gardens, multiple beaus, and a social calendar ablaze with what’s haute and hot?

I have a cadre of fans– who long for my Sunshine State life and they are buried in snow in dull times three Pennsylvania and Upstate New York, Wisconsin, and Montana.

They want to read about my romances and rendezvous -my glamorous weekend jaunts to the resorts, the Keys, San Diego and Beverly Hills.

There is no way I can tell them the truth.

I’m not a well-rehearsed, practiced, fiction writer for nothing!

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She just wanted a few diamonds

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Candy was a party girl. She lost interst in school – she got a job as a waitress -then became a cocktail waitress and was having the time of her life. Tips were flowing and there were parties all the time.

She met men ( both single and married) every day of the week and created a network of fellow “Fun Devils.” She claims she was never bored.

And then, the boredom hit the fan. Never in 1 million years did Candy ever think she would be bored with serving drinks and smiles. One of the old guys- a regular- once said if she ever needed a real job to contact him. Bingo.

In one week’s time Candy went from serving drinks- to a receptionist job in small law firm. it took a while to learn the names of the partners, and to become acclimated to the many machines she was using a daily basis.  She rose to the occasion – everyone in the office appreciated her bubbly personality and her diligence.

After several months, she was both liked and respected by everyone. Unbeknownst to the people in the office, she and Bradley J.  were dating very quietly, very surreptitiously. She knew he was “the one.” She also knew that she wasn’t getting any younger and was hankering for a diamond ring on her left hand.  She had dated enough to know Bradley J was a keeper.

And so it began, Candy created a very clever campaign to win the Bradley J. over and get that diamond ring of her dreams. She started with subtle comments about 14 carats.

Soup Kitchen Lines

After two months of no response-Candy decided she had to be more clever.

One day she sent her secret beau text message saying she was Craving 14 carrots.  (Spellcheck wasn’t working.)

That afternoon, Bradley J, put a brown paper bag on her desk. She was thrilled. She open the bag only to find the large, economy-size bag of pre-sliced carrots.

Frustrated-a little angry-she decided the panacea to this dilemma was to be more forthright.  That evening as they were walking towards her apartment, she steered him to the window of the famous jewelry store.

Staring at the tiny galaxy  of shiny diamond rings, she said, “Guess what I want?”

He said, patting the bag,  I know “Minestrone, Chianti and fresh French bread with melted butter. I’ve got it all right here.” 

Bradley J. was super book-smart and very slow when it came to Life 101. It took Candy  another two months to get him up to speed. Voila!

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Panacea

To tell the truth online? Maybe

15369922_1393636857336651_9025385505994077622_o-3Catherine has a high profile job in a fancy San Francisco law firm. Her private office with a view, on the sky high floor of the Embarcadero, was the result of countless wee- hours spent “chained to her desk.” She had been known, like her colleagues, to pop in to the Ladies – pull off yesterday’s blouse and pull on a fresh, starched, blouse, re-apply make up, put her hair in a bun (ponytails don’t cut it on the 35th floor) and return to her desk. Another day …


At her college reunion – she noted lots of the girls were sporting diamonds on their left hands – many were engaged or married. Three of her old friends were preggers. She had been out of touch – lamenting  the “nose to the gridndstone” life she was living.

Casey, one of the mean girls, stood next the Catherine at the wine bar and blunty asked her why she wasn’t married. Taken aback,  Catherine bragged she was on the Partner Fast Track at the law firm and didn’t have time. Casey sneered and said, “You can’t sleep with a Tort or a decision. Try online dating. I did – look!” And she waved a multi karat dazzler in front of Catherine’s face.

The wheels began to turn and churn. Should Catherine do the “Tinder isn the Night” thing? Could she use a fake ID?

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Stay tuned…

 

via Daily Prompt: Identity