Category Archives: Dating

Want to really test a relationship? Move in together

First: Have a Garage Sale!

Possibly the Most stressful, exhausting, taxing, demanding, unfulfilling event in a lifetime….

Organizing, planning, purging, pricing, promoting, staging, signage, paperwork, selling, smiling, haggling…for hours and hours.

 

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…One man’s treasure is another man’s Junk…Dopey, really?

If you can ‘get along’ and work together for the common good and still speak to one another after eight hours of looky-loo’s, weirdos, and harassing hagglers….

And, if you can sell a ton of duplicates (you have two blenders, two irons, ice buckets, dozens of wine glasses, bowls, plates, baseball hats…)           and the myriad “Won’t Need Its ” for the new house’ items – Bravo!

More power to you…crack open a bottle of really good wine – you deserve it…Have pizza – really good pizza – delivered.

Put your feet up. You Survived.

Put Dopey near the recycling bin…

 

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Like London Bridges: All fall down

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Bea S.moved to San Francisco with a red hot passion.

She would do anything to get famous in the big City. She assumed with her good looks, her almost perfect body (with recent “enhancements”) and a wall of Miss Teen and Miss Kern County beauty pagent ribbbons gracing her bedroom walls were strong evidence of her  beauty and fame.

 It didn’t take long to realize that dropping, “I know Devin Nunez- we are both from the Central Valley,” didn’t impress anyone in San Francisco.

She looked into modeling, acting, TV gigs, and was coming up dry. Very dry. Rent was astronomical and she was sharing the $5000 monthly rent-fee with three other girls. Her “room” was a corner they created where the hall met a walk-in closet.

Like thousands of other wanna be stars, Bea took a job at cafe – just like high school, then, she heard about a better job- jumped ship and started at a posh downtown restaurant as the invisible water girl. She just knew she would be ‘discovered.’ Each afternoon, she applied “her face” fashioned her long tresses, pulled on her tight pleather pants and form fitting white blouse. She was told time and again that she was to be as subtle as a butterfly and not to interrupt, speak to, stare/ smile at guests. For one week Bea played the mute. The invisible. Week #2 she decided to give fliritng a whirl. She was used to being noticed and admired. She was Miss Kern County and a “Ms California Runner Up” to the third runner up. Within an hour of her frisky, flirty, fun personae – she was pulled off the floor. Her boss called her on her behavior – granted her that one “mis-judgement” and would not stand for another fall from grace.

Four days later, Bea joined in on a table of men having lunch. She said she couldnt resist, they “were all having fun and carrying on.” She felt like she could make the meal more enjoyable by being herself. Minutes later, she was let go. Even more minutes later, she was perched a stool at the HaRa Club.She was telling the afternoon crowd nearby about her termination. She was shocked. She claimed she was flowing with ideas and “had so much to say.” She tired to quote the Bible about lights and bushels and bestowing her talents.

Bea popped all over San Francisco doing temp work before she decided Hollywood was where she really needed to be and to shine.

Our Girl, Bea, moved to Hollywood, landed on her feet went to school (Bartending) and eventually became the head bartender at the newly opened Figueroa Hotel. She holds court every night.

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Bestow

 

 

 

Is Harold really God’s gift to women?

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Whether it is bluff or bravado, Bachelor (again) and bon vivant, Harold H. quickly dismisses his three divorces, and announces he’s looking for a  woman who understands him.  

He is the kind a man  who measures success by the size of a wallet and bank account. Both of his are substantial. What he is lacking are social graces, compassion, and sensitivity. Some have compared him to the proverbial bull in a China shop. He is simply clueless as to the number people he alienates with his brash bragging.

Mind you, there are plenty of women who are attracted to him and his wealth  like a fly to honey. Harold H. will tell you, quite frankly, he’s looking for a “type.” He only dates tall,  blondes, generally 20 years his junior. His first three wives were petite, Mediterranean, homemaker types.

He thought he had a gold mine when he met Trixie- she was from Texas, was bold and brassy and seem to find old Harold H attractive. She loved to go to expensive restaurants, she knew how to feign interest to a man who was wining and dining her- especially when there was a potential for gifts in little blue boxes.

Trixie could drink most men under the table (years of practice) and she had a “frisky” side the Harold H found very attractive. Each week, he surprised Trixie with a piece of jewelry. He knew for a fact that most women faint over gifts from the jewelry store. His relationship with Trixie buoyed his confidence. People stopped and stared when they walked down the street or walked into restaurants. He liked that.

What Harold H never expected was that Trixie’s old boyfriend would reappear and she would drop him like a hot potato.

Trixie called him to say was going to return her jewelry drawer full of trinkets from Harold H- he said, “Hey, babe, fuhgeddaboudit!” He closed the Trixie chapter and was back on the Union Street prowl that night. 

Next!

 

 

 

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Present

Her Motto: Will Date for Food

To say Annette was an opportunist only begins to describe the the woman from Rio.  (Rio Del, Humboldt County)

She is a striking brunette – both buxom and brassy. She attracted men like a moth to a flame. Whether it was charisma, phernomes or a magnetic attraction- none of her friends understood the dynamic. They merely watched as men dropped hints and business cards and asked her out every night of the week.

She didn’t actually wear a T-shirt that said “Will date for food,” but Annette had created a list of the Top 20 Restaurants in Miami and her goal was to leave her mark and dine at a dozen of the “Top 20” each month.

Her success rate was staggering.  Pubbelly, YardBird, Upland, The Bazaar, Pan E Vino, Stubborn Seed were all on her “Been there done that” list.

She was torn between liking a guy or just going out to dinner.

Her secret motto is: A girls got to eat. Her pals kidded that her refrigerator looked like a kennel  with dozens of Doggie Bags lining the shelves.

Annette was happy. Oblivious. And out to lunch – and dinner – all week long.

Eventually she decided she was craving karats…and she started a whole new campaign.

Soup Kitchen Lines

 

 

Torn

Going to a party? Top 5 Flirting Tips

simple, smart, succinct…sexy.

It doesn’t take a genius to Master the Art of Flirting

Do this! Here are five very effective Flirting Techniques:

#1. Look – The eyes have it: The first tip of successful flirting involves Eye Contact. Let’s say you see somebody you think is attractive. Let your eyes linger- just for a bit.  Smile, look back,  and don’t look away.

#2. Laugh – Everybody likes to think they have a great sense of humor. If you want to score points and attention- laugh at the witty statement be them corny or funny. 

#3. Listen – Everyone wants to be heard. When this new person is speaking, listen to what they have to say while looking them in the eyes. Keen flirtatious listening always involves eye contact.

#4. The touch of love– just like the song. A surefire connection is as simple as a light touch on the wrist, elbow, or arm during the course of the conversation.  Amy G tells every guy she meets, “You are so funny.” and she places her hand on his. Home run every time.

#5. Put your hands on your hips. This classic Body Language 101 tells it all – You are open and interested and available. If you don’t like the person, very often we cross our hands over our chest which is the international language for “You’re not doing it for me. I’m about to leave.” The way you stand- facing the person next to-you  not turned away- speaks volumes. Try it.

 

Don’t do this on first date

 

Oops, I did it again! Two Big dating mistakes

 

Too much, too soon, too fast – That long and flirty exchange of e-mails – for a week or two- is a big mistake.

Texting back and forth all day long before your first date is a huge Dating Blunder -unless you are looking for a pen pal.  Expectations grow and grow and become way out of proportion. Way.

You expect a sexy, flirty Brad Pitt kind of a guy. Your name is Penny and you are petite, with long dark hair and he expects Penelope Cruz or a perfect Barbie Doll…

Sometimes when you meet, face-to-face those grandiose expectations fall flat.  Texting pithy one-liners is not the same as carrying on a conversation.

 Nuts!

Exchanging ideas and dreams – pre first date?  Don’t waste your time and valuable time and energy with fabulous flirting via e-mail.

Keep your eyes open – it is so easy to get blinded by a crush – sometimes we forget the goal is to carefully, nonchalantly, check a person out.

Meeting for cocktails– Maybe you think that a first date should be for smart cocktails at a glam joint. It sounds sexy and fun and you love going to Union Square…

 

One drink is a great idea.  Two drinks could be okay…three- are generally pushing it, and anything beyond that – is a very bad idea. Why?

Your brain will be murky by Makers Mark or clouded by Clos de chardonnay – and you will be compromised and vulnerable; your standards will have dissipated and your “Top 10 Things I’m Looking for in a Date” flies out the window when a modicum of charm, and champagne cocktails blind you.

Take it easy. Take your time. Set limits.

 

He snores – she snores? Aw, come on!


They moved in together – Moon, Spoon, June: pure bliss?

Last May, Carly rolled her eyes and said that living with Don was bliss-perfection-more wonderful than she had imagined. Except for that one flaw. Flaw? Mr. Wonderful? Mr. tall, dark, handsome, highly successful and happy Don?   She whispered, “He snores. A little like a small water buffalo.” How bad was it? Move to another bedroom bad or just earplugs and melatonin bad? She was discreet in all their affairs, and merely waved her hand and tsk-ed, “Oh, not that bad.”

Flash forward to now-and Carly is no longer fluffing this one off.

She has dark circles under her eyes and the Bobbi Brown concealer barely hides them. And she will quietly share she just had the first good night’s sleep in weeks, because Don had gone to a meeting in Toronto.

She reveled in the nocturnal silence. She thought about taping “The Quietude of the Boudoir” as a meditation tape she could play back with her Bose headphones when Don returned.    She dismissed the idea as silly, but the night before he returned-she turned on her tape player to record three hours of white noise and pure silence. The next morning, she tucked it away in the bedside table.

Don’s return was highly anticipated. Carly shopped, prepped, and cooked his favorite meal to eat by candlelight, accompanied by Miles Davis and Keith Jarrett on their cool, old, record player. He was clearly exhausted. He had a three-hour delay in Denver, missed an airline connection and was beat. After dinner, they retired to the bedroom – within minutes he was out and snoring.

For Carly, the week of silence had been purely intoxicating and was now a distant memory as the cacophony of snorts, airbursts and coughs punctuated the night.

The tape!  Proud of her white-noise-invention, she found her Bose headphones and the mini-tape player and placed them on her side of the bed. She cleansed, toned, moisturized, and climbed into bed next to her amore as he belted raucous snores. Blissfully, she listened to her newly created, perfect, white noise tape. She could barely hear the muffled rustling of her satin duvet. As she was relaxing into silence, she heard a strange noise.

Something was wrong with the tape. It must be flawed. She heard a rush of air and a soft wheezing sound. The machine must be broken. Then she heard the pattern again. Louder.  Snoring! Had she taped Don and forgotten?

No, as she listened to the shocking snorting noise, she sadly discovered she, too, snored. Softly – but, she had a small problem. She would erase the tape in the morning and head off to the health food store for Melatonin. And, maybe soothing, sleep inducing  Belleruth Naperstek ‎ tape, earplugs might be good…brandy…her mind was whirling- while the love of her life was sleeping like a baby.

Damn him. Sweet dreams….photo_8735_20081228

What is your panacea? Tell me! myammy101@gmail.com

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