Category Archives: Dating

Dating 101:Rock star, rocket scientist or regular guy?

canada-geese-348290__180

Come fly with me! What are you looking for?

Hello, Beginner Daters, Here is a hot tip: slow down, babycakes.

Yes, you are excited. Dating again! Visions of romance and candlelight and holding hands and…are dancing in your head.

 

Perhaps your sky high expectations are all Dusty Springfield: 
Thinkin’ and a-prayin’ Wishin’ and hopin’ this is “the one.”

 

Remember, the first few dates are not a job interview. Meeting for the first time is supposed to be fun, interesting, and a potential opportunity to click with a kindred spirit. Play nice. No guessing games. No games, period.
Take your time: Just because you both signed up for the same dating site doesn’t mean – at first blush – you have to divulge your income, IQ, blood type, age, weight, or divorce settlement.  Seriously.
Maybe your absolute best, wildest dream date is a movie star… or a millionaire…a rock star…

Psst: Chances are – they are already taken.

Best Dating Advice for Beginners? Slow down, relax and enjoy the ride.

Janis_Joplin_ Palace__

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.

Henry Van Dyke

 

 

Mad Libs

Berkeley! A treasure trove of gourmets, goofs, wacks and wonderful

theme park sideshow

California Dreamin’

Berkeley – a mere Bridge away from San Francisco – and a world away!

A veritable mosaic of contradictions –

See this:

http://www.movoto.com/berkeley-ca/berkeley-stereotypes/

Coit tower, San Francisco, California

Berkeley: Down with up!

The beauty of Berkeley

 

 Walk to the coffee shop for a latte, cross the street for your  Hatha yoga class.  Right next-door is the wonderful independent bookstore, steps away from your  $10.00 manicurist. 

 Next, pick up a bouquet from the florist across street and stop in at the salon to get your bangs trimmed by Gracie who you’ve known for 10 years.

Walk one block to the Gourmet ghetto and pick up the kale, Salmon, berries and clotted cream, and those spices you need; get the sharpened knife from Sur le Tab, a bottle of wine, and a hostess gift at the cute, little, gift store four doors away.

C’est fini and c’est bon!

No Strip Malls.

No Driving.

California here I come!

Buckle up, it is going to be a rocky break up

smallwwer26831_20130808

Blinded by love?
Valerie  gathered her four best friends for a Martini Party to talk about the status of her one-year relationship with Dennis.
 They hadn’t seen her in weeks and wondered what the heck was going on. She had been hook, line and sinker in love with this cowboy- and they wondered how long it would last.
Pygmalion Playboy
With his encouragement (read: to make him happy) she lost weight, changed her classic Nordstrom’s wardrobe to more risqué attire- involving boots, shorter skirts and tops that were very Va Va Voom.
She changed her hair color- he liked brunettes. He also liked a mane of massive curls- she got a permanent. She thought she looked like Little Orphan Annie- he said she looked, “hot”
She even shocked herself when she took a Pole Dancing class in the City. She gave up her tickets to the opera and the symphony and found herself actually attending NASCAR events.

 

Her Ivy League credentials and her impressive resume-landed her a job as the VP of Finance for a small start up – in no time, it was taking off like a bat out of hell. Initially, she worked long hours- as the company steadied it’s course – she found herself slipping out earlier each week.

Her co-workers watched her morph from a conservative, tailored, corporate image to a faux Burning Man devotee.

Dennis had introduced her to “dive bars” and they had half-dozen sites they rotated in and out of. That afternoon, Valerie arrived early at The Crazy Pelican  and saw a woman sitting on Dennis’ lap.
An empty beer pitcher and a package of Marlboro’s were on the table.
She stopped dead in her tracks.
He saw her and slurred, “Come on over, baby. I want to introduce you to Tiffany.”
C’est Fini, baby!

All it took was that one sick scenario for Valerie to wake up and realize she had been bamboozled by love. It was as though the gods had thrown a lightning bolt at her. Bam!

She walked out and never looked back.

He called twice. He texted her five times. And she never heard from him again.

She promptly donated her “Dennis wardrobe” to Goodwill and pulled on her own life again.

 

“You have power over your mind – not outside events.

Realize this, and you will find strength.”

Marcus Aurelius

 

 

 

The WordPress Prompt of the Day

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/the-outsiders/”>The Outsiders</a>

Hello? Remember The First Rule of Valentine’s Day

IMG_0469

If a woman tells you she doesn’t want anything

for Valentine’s Day…do not believe her.

images-64

chocolate-festival-longbeachsees

 

Psst! Remember this secret:

When in doubt…over do Valentine’s gifts, baubles, trinkets, sweets, Bubbly…

To err is human

to overcompensate is

Divine!

Page Larkin

 

Diamonds are a

Diamonds are a girl’s best …

 

valentines-day-1182246__180

 

There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.

George Sand

 

 

 

 

 

 

All dressed up and nowhere to go? Party on

unnamed-11

There were four other single girls living in the Nob Hill apartment building. We agreed to throw “Singles Parties” and get to know more people ( read: men) and explore San Francisco hot spots. We wasted time thinking up a clever name for our coterie. Fueled by trendy Blonde Beer, we came up with a half-dozen funny names and decided – “BTBW” (Born to be Wild) was cute and catchy. 

Twice a month, we casually invaded the living room in the building. We sent out invites with BYOB as the lead. We provided light  snacks, music and introductions.

We had four theme parties a year and discovered everyone loved dressing up for Halloween. We also decided to take it to the streets and started Trick or Treating on Clement Street. Our goal was to meet at least one fun person to invite to join us.

No problem! Fast learners, we discovered, people want to be invited…many are reticent and shy. We became the Party Planners du jour. Our Annual Soiree by Invite Only is a much sought after invite – ferry to Sausalito, Kickoff at Spinnakers, Wine Tasting in two bars on the water and dinner at a secret restaurant.

Eventually, each of us met Mr. Right.

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Costume

Moving out of state and together? At 50?

architecture attraction bay beach

Open Up Your Golden Gate….

To move in or not to move in: that was the question

Sherry (admits to “over 50”) and Claude (62) met online. They exchanged four e-mails, enjoyed two lengthy phone calls, and on the first date, both were very carefully falling in love.

They both like opera, Mountain Winery concerts, old San Francisco, traveling to Santa Fe for the opera, Carmel-by-the-Sea, Wine Tasting events, and visiting National Parks.  She likes fiction. He likes nonfiction.  He loves butter, cream, and eggs.  She’s more of an advocate for quinoa, vegetables, and exploring the aisles of Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods. He cooks – she prefers dining out.

They were around same age, had been through painful divorces, had launched their kids, were finishing up careers and both were seriously thinking about retirement. He has a condo in San Francisco on Nob Hill, a doorman, spectacular views of both bridges; rarely drives – walks everywhere, and knows San Francisco like the back of his hand. His office is one of the top floors of the towering Bank of America on California Street.

She lives in a tiny cottage in Redwood City- with a charming garden, a hot tub – there is no lawn to mow, no big home to maintain, just sunny weather, parking galore, and she has privacy, solitude, and a huge deck for entertaining –which she does with great frequency. She belongs to a book club, a Pilate’s class, and volunteers at film festivals and the Museum – he says she has ‘a Rolodex full of girlfriends.’

She works from home for three very delightful and demanding clients in Atherton.

A Moving Experience:  On their one-year anniversary, they drove north on Highway 101 to the Victorian village of Ferndale and explored the area and the beautiful redwood parks.  Over crab cocktails at VI Restaurant he suggested she move into his spacious condo in San Francisco.  He had a second bedroom that could easily be made into her office or study.  He listed the many positive aspects of living in San Francisco – such an exciting location and – more importantly- of living together. She was thinking of the whipping winds and fog rolling in, parking challenges, the din of the neighborhood, the claustrophobic feeling of being so close to your neighbors, no garden…her mental list of “cons” grew incrementally. She was very happy with their arrangement. They were together all weekend and one or two nights a week. Two of her 50-ish friends had ‘living situations’ with beaus – they kept separate residences and saw one another frequently. The couples said they embraced their privacy and alone time and claimed they were very happy with the arrangements. She pondered.

Moving in together and moving away?  Then his boss offered him a position in Miami, Florida as VP of his department.  The assignment would be for 18 months with the caveat that he would return to San Francisco six times a year for meetings. The offer was a promotion with great benefits – and would most likely be his last position with the company. Thrilled at the prospect, he called and invited her to join him on this new adventure. She had been to Florida several times and liked the beaches, Art Deco architecture and Cuban Food, As she started thinking about the humidity, the traffic, the density, the severe summer weather, and the distance from her family and her friends her mood changed. Her best friend said, “Go for it! It’s only for a year or so and you’ll come back here every few months. Just do it. Candace, her neighbor – an Eileen Fisher model, 65, tango dancer with a shock of silver hair said, “Men? I go dancing once a week.  I just want to be in the arms of a man for one hour –and then go home to my cats and I’m happy.”  Another cat woman?

She was dizzy with input from her myriad friends and her love for this man – who was kind, thoughtful and more spiritual than anyone she had ever met.

 Things fall into place Her best friend from Albuquerque took an artist in residence gig at the Oakland Museum and needed a place to stay – voila: the perfect house sitter. 

She told her clients of her plans. She heard a lot of “Oh! no! What will we do?” comments punctuated with hugs and “Please don’t go.” requests.  She had a best friends meeting and they balked at the news… They asked if she wasn’t  little too quick to make a decision of this  importance. Her “Besties” were friends for decades who knew Mr Right and had googled him diligently. They urged her to slow down…not to throw the baby out with the bathwater and go to FLorida to visit – not live. A Bi-coastal relationship would be the perfect test.

Testing 1,2,3,

After one exhausting visit to Miami and the environs – the traffic, the heat, the miles and miles of strip malls, the infamous Seniors – worst drivers in the state and alarming stories about alligators and high rate of crime was enough to have her go for the BiCoastal Route

She would remain in California and he would fly home every couple of weeks.

Time would test the strength of their relationship.

 

 

 

Want to really test a relationship? Move in together

First: Have a Garage Sale!

Possibly the Most stressful, exhausting, taxing, demanding, unfulfilling event in a lifetime….

Organizing, planning, purging, pricing, promoting, staging, signage, paperwork, selling, smiling, haggling…for hours and hours.

 

Image

…One man’s treasure is another man’s Junk…Dopey, really?

If you can ‘get along’ and work together for the common good and still speak to one another after eight hours of looky-loo’s, weirdos, and harassing hagglers….

And, if you can sell a ton of duplicates (you have two blenders, two irons, ice buckets, dozens of wine glasses, bowls, plates, baseball hats…)           and the myriad “Won’t Need Its ” for the new house’ items – Bravo!

More power to you…crack open a bottle of really good wine – you deserve it…Have pizza – really good pizza – delivered.

Put your feet up. You Survived.

Put Dopey near the recycling bin…