Category Archives: Moving In together

Wow: Our neighbors are legendary, Latin, and loud

Palm tree and sky

Welcome the South Florida – AKA  there goes the neighborhood.

Legendary:

Neighborhood rumors are that the great-grandfather fashioned a raft made of mannequin body parts, used the mannequin arms as paddles, and in the dead of night, the family escaped Cuba and arrived on the beaches of Florida.

The legend goes, the waters were treacherous, and usual dancing dolphins not did shepherd them – but a phalanx of alligators escorted them – day and night -to freedom.  A bounty of ripe coconuts bobbing by provided food and drink. Tiny, tasty fish jumped from the sea onto the raft for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Despite those ‘miracles’ they report their harrowing story makes Hemingway’s Old Man and the Sea look like a canoe ride in Central Park.

Welcome the Neighborhood

The Loud Family – not the PBS special

On the Fourth of July our traditions involve red, white, and blue Bunting, strawberries, blueberries, and sparklers.

Theirs involve guns, Sky Flyers, Roman Candles and Screeching Rockets.  And, more guns.  Why does anybody shoot at the sky?

Our Christmas celebration involves a tree, colored lights and tinsel and Bing Crosby crooning Mele Kalikimaka…

Their Christmas celebration involves a month long production of decorating every square inch of the exterior house with colored lights, so bright that you can read a book at midnight by the light of their decorations.  Neighbors have taken to buying  blackout curtains to use in December.

For some reason, the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ inspires more loud Salsa music, guns and shooting at the sky.  (Hey! Santa Claus is up there!) The symbolism is lost on me.

Our Easter involves colored eggs and lots of chocolate.  Their Easter celebration involves 10 cars and several motorcycles parked on their front lawn; barbecuing a baby goat; loud Salsa music for two days; gales of laughter; clouds of cigar smoke and more guns. Again, with the shooting at the sky.

The legendary, loud family – is very friendly and extremely gracious, and, at one time, they invited all the neighbors to their various celebrations. The guns were a buzzkill.

Home Sweet Home?

In South Florida, you see many homes with two chairs on the front porch. When the weather is cooler, people sit on the porch – perhaps, sipping iced tea? Our friendly neighbors have six chairs, a keg, a boom-box and a tiny disco ball.

There goes the neighborhood…

We heard today that the neighborhood has gotten too quiet for the family and they are moving to South Beach. Evidently, Great-grandpa owns a few condo buildings in Miami and he will move the families. Go figure.

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The Legend of the Loud Family

Grandpa had a small department store in Cuba and each evening he would bring home a mannequin part to his tiny garage. He fashioned a raft using bits and pieces of the store mannequins.

The day of the great escape, each of his sons playfully carried one quarter of the raft to the beach. Each of the daughters nonchalantly carried mannequin arms to the getaway point on the beach. The story goes, the 10 family members boarded the body raft, used the arms as paddled and they landed in the Florida Keys.

They caught a wave, the phalanx of alligators escorted into the shore and they walked to Miami.  Grandpa arrived with a quarter clenched in his teeth.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Oh wait, yes you can.

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Hello? Remember The First Rule of Valentine’s Day

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If a woman tells you she doesn’t want anything

for Valentine’s Day…do not believe her.

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Psst! Remember this secret:

When in doubt…over do Valentine’s gifts, baubles, trinkets, sweets, Bubbly…

To err is human

to overcompensate is

Divine!

Page Larkin

 

Diamonds are a

Diamonds are a girl’s best …

 

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There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.

George Sand

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are You Afraid of Valentine’s Day?

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February 14th strikes fear in the hearts of many singles…

Do funny valentines and flirty poems freak you out?  Do red, velvet, heart-shaped boxes and long stemmed red roses cause your heart to pitter patter, your mouth to go dry and flop-sweat to appear out of nowhere?

Relax, Binkie – there’s an App for that.

The following top 10 list of fears – not so much

Here are: The Top 10 Common Fears Known to Single Men & Women

1. Isolophobia – the fear of being alone
2. Athazagoraphobia – the fear of being forgotten
3. Gamophobia – the fear of marriage
4. Mageirocophobia – the fear of cooking
5. Sexophobia – the fear of the opposite sex
6. Gynophobia – the fear of women
7. Hominophobia – the fear of men
8. Clinophobia – the fear of going to bed
9. Homilophobia – the fear of sermons
10. Nyctophobia- the fear of the dark or night
TULIPS

I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.”    Thomas Paine

Remember:Valentines Day is a day of fun, flirting, and the very day  to Blame Cupid for all your romantic notions and emotions.

Wear Red, Smile at Strangers and share kisses (Hershey’s… or your own)

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http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/10/writing-challenge-valentine/

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Moving: Uh oh! The Comcast Debacle

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FACT:   There are enough Comcast criticisms, battles, blitzes, and atrocities to fill a dozen blogs.

I am not going to bore you with the egregious details of our move…

I am going to give you The Gift of Information…

Do you have a Comcast Challenge?

Here is the Comcast Solution:

Send an Email with the following information

Name:

Account:

Account number

  • Full name
  • Service address
  • Best contact phone number and time to call

A description of the problem: 

 Send the email with with the above information to:

we_can_help@cable.comcast.com

A Comcast problem resolution specialist should contact you to follow up.

photo_1720_20060622Oh, Happy Day. You will thank me.

Want to really test a relationship? Move in together

First: Have a Garage Sale!

Possibly the Most stressful, exhausting, taxing, demanding, unfulfilling event in a lifetime….

Organizing, planning, purging, pricing, promoting, staging, signage, paperwork, selling, smiling, haggling…for hours and hours.

 

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…One man’s treasure is another man’s Junk…Dopey, really?

If you can ‘get along’ and work together for the common good and still speak to one another after eight hours of looky-loo’s, weirdos, and harassing hagglers….

And, if you can sell a ton of duplicates (you have two blenders, two irons, ice buckets, dozens of wine glasses, bowls, plates, baseball hats…)           and the myriad “Won’t Need Its ” for the new house’ items – Bravo!

More power to you…crack open a bottle of really good wine – you deserve it…Have pizza – really good pizza – delivered.

Put your feet up. You Survived.

Put Dopey near the recycling bin…

 

A Night Owl and a Mourning Person- Merry X-mas?

architecture attraction bay beach

Good Bye, California and Cashmere!

And turtle-necks, leather boots, scarves, and gloves, berets, blazers, and wool coats…

Hello Flip flops, sandals, T-shrts, sundresses, capris

and suncreen in December

(and January, February, March…)

To the land of No reindeer – lots of Pink Flamingos –

No Snow-flakes – Lots of Snow-cones…and Snow birds.

She was a night owl… he was a ‘mourning’ person.

They were polar opposites and very attracted.

She was peppy and perky and reveled in all the trappings of Christmas – from candy canes and wreaths, Christmas carols on the radio 10 hours a day, to red and white sweaters, socks and  warm hats, and mittens and mistletoe.

He was a Hanukah kind of guy. Not that merry – not that happy.

The six month sabbatical in South Florida was a meant be a lark – it turned out to be more of albatross.

She slept in – he was up very early, ran three miles and wrote the book, did research and taught the class. Went to dinner with clients. 

She wanted to explore, have adventures, hit the clubs, eat Cuban food and party. He didn’t. He wouldn’t. She found a passel of people who were fun, single and adventuresome. Bliss! Solo bliss…however, she was ‘sought after’ by kindred souls.

 

Bam! One day – December 25th – he was working – she met a soul mate. A 100% perfect match who was being transferred to The Bay Area.

She hitched her heart on that star and they have been happily ever after.

Christmas Miracle

 

Florida- where Palm Reading takes on a whole new meaning.

 

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/because-the-night/”>Because the Night</a>

Breaking News: Floods of “Liberals” slip into Canada

The following News Story was updated and improved.

No plagiarism involved. Well, maybe a bit, eh? 

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Breaking News: Hordes of “US Liberals” slipping into Canada!

News Update from Canada, eh?

 Floods of Trump-fearing/GOP TAX Bill loathing  American Liberals are disgusted  with recent events. Their rage is prompting an exodus of Americans who fear they’ll soon be penniless, be required to buy a gun, build a fence, read the president-elect books, and live according to the “new” updated My Way or the Highway Constitution.

Canadian Border residents say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of Singles, Families, Sociology professors, Medicare loving/Social Security fans and Global-Warming Believers, and “Green” energy proponents crossing their fields at night.

“I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer and his entire family huddled in the barn,” said Quebec farmer, Rouge Greenfield. “They were cold, exhausted and hungry, and begged me for a croissant and some French Fries. When I said I didn’t have any, they left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”

Something fishy? In an effort to stop the so-called illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the limber Democratic Liberals nibly scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Sara Palin and Kevin Bannon across the fields, but they just sang, “If I had a Hammer” and kept coming.

Officials are particularly concerned about savvy Canadian smugglers who meet The Liberals  just south of the border, pack them into electric cars, and drive them across the border; where the batteries die and they are are ditched and left to fend for themselves, “These people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Alberta border patrolman said.  “I found one bereft carload without a single bottle of Perrier water or quinoa.  All they had was a nice little Napa Valley Pinot and some stale kale chips. When they are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing that they fear taunting and persecution from Terrible Trump Trumpets and Pensive Pence Patrol.

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Whatta Zoo!

Numerous Canadian citizens have complained that these ” Democrats aka illegal immigrants” are creating an epic organic-broccoli shortage, are buying up all the Leonard Cohen CD’s and are overloading the Canadian Internet while downloading yoga and meditation apps to their iPhones. “

Rumors are circulating about plans using the many old, failed, Trump properties as re-education camps where Liberals will be forced to watch “The Apprentice,” buy a gun, patrol the  walls, deal with a flood of ‘bizarro world’ new – laws.

Threats of Hair-comb overs, mandatory orange hair dye jobs and tanning salons mandates are all over Twitter.

However, in recent days, Liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Faux SightseeingBus Tours – seeking new homes with entire households being shipped in weeks to come.

Some clever escapees have been disguised as Senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. Not a new event. Post the phony Pharma act, scores of Americans seek housing in Canada.

After catching dozens young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, smart Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed “Senior citizens” about Captain Kangaroo, Perry Mason, Chubby Checker to prove that they were alive in the ’50s. “If they can’t identify the secretary on the Perry Mason Show, we become very suspicious about their age,” an official said.

“Oh! Canada” said, “I really feel sorry for American Liberals who are escaping Trump World , but the Canadian economy just can’t support them.” “After all, how many English majors does one country need?”

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