Category Archives: Uncategorized

Living in FL: Lizards, geckos, and bugs, oh no!

This might really bug you…

Myammy! Moving in together at 50...

photo_3231_20070906 We now live in the lush, green, warm tropics.

In the backyard, we have a dozen palm trees and a Star Fruit tree, which on a windy day, drops yellow blobs of fruits at an alarming rate.

Yuck

There are some pointy, succulent, cactusy things in one corner, an orange Hibiscus and thorny, purple, Bougainvillea in the other and there is a smattering of mangy bushes.

As a rule, Northern Californians are pretty clueless when it comes to palm trees. Redwood trees are our thing.  Joyce Kilmer certainly wasn’t writing about palm trees.

Who knew that a palm tree would give off these huge, dead pods that look like something out of  “The Invasion of the Body Snatchers?”   Often you wake in the morning and discover, sometime in the quiet of night, another corpse has appeared on your lawn.

Every once in a while you might see…

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Want to really test a relationship? Move in together

First: Have a Garage Sale!

Possibly the Most stressful, exhausting, taxing, demanding, unfulfilling event in a lifetime….

Organizing, planning, purging, pricing, promoting, staging, signage, paperwork, selling, smiling, haggling…for hours and hours.

 

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…One man’s treasure is another man’s Junk…Dopey, really?

If you can ‘get along’ and work together for the common good and still speak to one another after eight hours of looky-loo’s, weirdos, and harassing hagglers….

And, if you can sell a ton of duplicates (you have two blenders, two irons, ice buckets, dozens of wine glasses, bowls, plates, baseball hats…)           and the myriad “Won’t Need Its ” for the new house’ items – Bravo!

More power to you…crack open a bottle of really good wine – you deserve it…Have pizza – really good pizza – delivered.

Put your feet up. You Survived.

Put Dopey near the recycling bin…

 

Late to the party, you lose,

The Invasion of Coffee Shop Table Snatchers…

Myammy! Moving in together at 50...

There is an unspoken rule in my trendy neighborhood: your must arrive before 8:00am to score a table at Peet’s, Starbuck’s or the trendy, French bistro Pan Pain.

We have coffee shops galore in the’hood – but there is no where to sit  after a certain hour. Everyone scoots into a table, inserts ear buds or Bose, plugs in their laptop and – in a very territorial way – starts clicking away. No lie, yesterday, I heard a woman answer her phone, “Law Offices.” Then she announced, he was “Not in” she offered to take a message. 

This gives a new meaning to play on words: Nomad is an island…

After a dreadful night of non-sleep, I zombie-walked over to Peet’s- looking for the I.V. Hook Up of double lattes for a caffeine boost.  The joint was full of “This is my office – Back Off!” peeps. There was an Apple…

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Playing by the rules? Amish Beauty Contest

The Barbie Doll Beauty Queen meets The Amish~~~

Myammy! Moving in together at 50...

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The Amish Beauty Contest Rules stated:

No contestant shall use make up of any kind. There will be no hair coloring: no wigs, falls, extensions; no evidence of enhancements or plastic surgery. Clothing should be under stated and demure.

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Barbara- soon to be called “Barbie” – given the long mane of blonde hair – was infamous for stealing boyfriends in high school.

The consummate flirt, she wore the shortest skirts, the tightest tops and rumor had it she “put out.” Guys from the senior class buzzed around her like crazy.

After being elected Prom Queen and Homecoming Queen, she signed up for a slew of Beauty Contests.

Eventually, a manager came into the picture and Barbie was off and running. There was a pageant every weekend – sometimes two. If she didn’t place “First” she was was always runner up.

Welcome to Come-Uppance, PA

Barbie flew into Philadelphia, the limo…

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#45 called these women re: Climate Accord

The Weather Report? 45 seeks informed opinions….

Myammy! Moving in together at 50...

Kimbo Guilfoyle wasn’t the only female #45 called to ask about 

 The all-important Paris Climate Accord.

#45 was busy taking a pulse from a gaggle of  gals:

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Flattered?

 A Presidential conundrum

Who are you going to call? Famous Scientists?

Past Presidents? Foreign Dignitaries?

Nah.

Call the Weather Girls….

via Daily Prompt: Brassy

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Seniors: Party starts at 6pm done by 8pm

Party like it 2004~

Myammy! Moving in together at 50...

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It was a dark and early Night…

The Tale of the the wild 6 pm New Year’s Eve Gala at “The Home.”

50% of the festive party attendees tip toed out to go to bed at 8PM.

The remaining “fun devils” headed home when party ended promptly at 9 PM.

Big Excitement: On the dance floor, the only two with some mobility and balance issues fell. Boom! There were no broken bones. Phew. Just Bruised egos and bums.

The Wanna-be Harry James Trumpet player in the band, The Ho Hums, warned everyone with hearing aids to remove their aids before he plays “his” song.  Scofflaws who failed to do so – then quickly removed said aids.

As the wild party came to a yawning halt at 8:55 PM, colorful hats and horns were distributed.

PicMonkey SampleApproximately, 75% of the peeps were able to rally enough lung capacity to toot their own horns; all others…

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Like London Bridges: All fall down

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Bea S.moved to San Francisco with a red hot passion.

She would do anything to get famous in the big City. She assumed with her good looks, her almost perfect body (with recent “enhancements”) and a wall of Miss Teen and Miss Kern County beauty pagent ribbbons gracing her bedroom walls were strong evidence of her  beauty and fame.

 It didn’t take long to realize that dropping, “I know Devin Nunez- we are both from the Central Valley,” didn’t impress anyone in San Francisco.

She looked into modeling, acting, TV gigs, and was coming up dry. Very dry. Rent was astronomical and she was sharing the $5000 monthly rent-fee with three other girls. Her “room” was a corner they created where the hall met a walk-in closet.

Like thousands of other wanna be stars, Bea took a job at cafe – just like high school, then, she heard about a better job- jumped ship and started at a posh downtown restaurant as the invisible water girl. She just knew she would be ‘discovered.’ Each afternoon, she applied “her face” fashioned her long tresses, pulled on her tight pleather pants and form fitting white blouse. She was told time and again that she was to be as subtle as a butterfly and not to interrupt, speak to, stare/ smile at guests. For one week Bea played the mute. The invisible. Week #2 she decided to give fliritng a whirl. She was used to being noticed and admired. She was Miss Kern County and a “Ms California Runner Up” to the third runner up. Within an hour of her frisky, flirty, fun personae – she was pulled off the floor. Her boss called her on her behavior – granted her that one “mis-judgement” and would not stand for another fall from grace.

Four days later, Bea joined in on a table of men having lunch. She said she couldnt resist, they “were all having fun and carrying on.” She felt like she could make the meal more enjoyable by being herself. Minutes later, she was let go. Even more minutes later, she was perched a stool at the HaRa Club.She was telling the afternoon crowd nearby about her termination. She was shocked. She claimed she was flowing with ideas and “had so much to say.” She tired to quote the Bible about lights and bushels and bestowing her talents.

Bea popped all over San Francisco doing temp work before she decided Hollywood was where she really needed to be and to shine.

Our Girl, Bea, moved to Hollywood, landed on her feet went to school (Bartending) and eventually became the head bartender at the newly opened Figueroa Hotel. She holds court every night.

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Bestow