Bizarro World– an alternate universe where things are in Reverse…
for centuries women have slimmed, girdled, and exercised to erase ample derrières
(Satan get behind me!)
In the year 2019: Miami women ask:
“Do these pants make my butt look bigger? They do? Oh, good!”
Women, in the know, call a BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift)
as in, “Last week, I saw Dr. Butz and I got Rear-ended.”
AFTER a great deal of work
The billboard across from the mall on Biscayne Blvd in Miami read:
“Hey! Look at me! Brazilian Butt Lift only $4999″*
Stunned – I snapped a photo of the billboard – while driving …and this is what I shot…
*Imagine, children, a huge billboard –
with a “Before” photograph of two old saggy – buns next to another photograph of an
“After” photograph of two 20-year old buns.
You get the picture. Welcome to South Florida…
“My parents didn’t want to move to Florida,
but they turned sixty and that’s the law.”
Today’s Top Five South Florida Fun Facts, Flaws and Guffaws:
1. A very glamorous Florida city’s name is, translated, ‘Mouth of the Rat.’
2. Nefarious Florida Sugar Famers* think advertising on PBS will erase egregious behavior. Not so.
3. In Florida, Drug testing is required for Ambien prescriptions.
4. Female Newscasters on local networks wear high glam, heels, cocktail dresses, oversized necklaces to work everyday – starting at 6:00 AM. Can you spell “credibility?”
5. Your out-of-state-car insurance could double – add “Tag Agency” as a new part to your vocabulary.
FACT: There are more BBL’s (Brazilian Butt Lifts) performed in Florida than any other Southern state.
[BBL Doctor: “Madame, would you prefer Sand or Cement?”]
- Florida: The Sunshine State Home of the BBL
“Florida’s Everglades, is seriously compromised after decades of sugar cane farming.Tens of thousands of acres of the Everglades have been converted from teeming sub-tropical forest to lifeless marshland due to excessive -SUGAR FARMERS -fertilizer run-off and drainage for irrigation.”
You can run
ads on PBS –
but you can’t hide…
Big Sugar in Florida
See Florida Cracker Crumbs