Tag Archives: French Canadians

What are The A, B, C’s of Florida?

 

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Found written on a piece of paper at the Dunkin Donuts at Trump Tower:

PHLORIDA…Florida… from A-Z

Alligators

Bugs, insects, cucarachas, 

Canals

Dunkin donuts on every corner

Emi-grays – Senior citizens from foreign lands

Flipper

Gray-matters? 

Hurricanes

Intracoastal Yacht Envy

Jellyfish

KFC on every corner

Lizards, geckos, salamanders, reptiles! Oh, no!

MYAMMY…

No one Says, “Excuse me, pardon me, thank you.”

OMG! The Snow Birds have landed

Panthers, Palmettos, and Palm trees

Quickest, rudest, worst, drivers in 50 states

Russians really roam ’round the state

Snowbirds and Snow Flakes

Tornado watch – Earthquakes? Who knew?

UV Rays demand daily sunscreen, hat, and dark glasses

Various Versatile vandals and scam artists abound

Water, water, everywhere

X-rated, hard core, taxi drivers everywhere

Youthful face lifts, tucks, butt-lifts, sculpting: the rage

Zero tolerance for aging? Plastic surgeons to the rescue

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Something is rotten in the state of Florida

In the 2000 presidential election, Al Gore got more votes than George W. Bush, but still lost the election.

The Supreme Court’s ruling in Florida gave Bush that pivotal state, and doomed Gore to lose the Electoral College.

That odd scenario – where the candidate with the most votes loses – has happened three times in U.S. history.

Juan Williams

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Pungent

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Hey: what’s the difference between Snowbirds and Snowflakes?

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Hollywood, Florida is a sleepy little town most of the year – then, like locusts* the out-of-towners swarm in and Hollywood goes from sleepy to sleep deprived.

What happens? Tourists happen…

Here is a quick Florida lexicon lesson in “Top Three Types of Tourists”

  • Snowbirds,
  • Snowflakes
  • Kwee-Beckers

The Snowbirds are genus Seniorus Americanus – US citizens over 65 who have retired and escaped the ravages of icy winters in the Midwest and East who decamp to heavenly Hollywood – known for the tranquil climate-and a plethora of cheap little motels, efficiencies, and skyscraping condos.

Snowflakes are the temporary denizens of Hollywood, Fort Lauderdale, Miami, etc. Generally, condo-owners who, evidently, have multiple homes – and merely drop in – sometime in the winter months.

The Kwee-Beckers swarm from the French-Canadian region and flock to Hollywood and environs for 4-5 months every year. Primarily, they hail from Montréal. There are well over 300,000 Kwee-Beckers who converge upon South Florida each year. Some say, the gregarious, convivial group has a reputation for being rather frugal and has prompted some to restaurateurs protect themselves with an automatic 18% gratuity. Bon chance.

East Coasters – (aka The Gnu-Yokkers) are retirees of every stripe who, generation after generation, move Florida to escape inclement weather of the East Coast. Robert De Niro best describes the New Yorker passion and bluster, “I go to Paris, I go to London, I go to Rome, and I always say, “There’s no place like New York. It’s the most exciting city in the world now. That’s the way it is. That’s it.”      And we will always have Florida.

Jerry Seinfeld says, “My parents turned 60 – and they had to move to Florida – that’s the rule.”

people on the beach, enjoying vacations

In addition, there is a profusion of Russians (Здравствуйте!) – and there are throngs of South Americans who boost the economy with hyper-active shopping- some reputed to be a bit ill-mannered. Perhaps they have never been exposed to Emily Post and etiquette. Locals opine, “Excuse me” must be very hard to pronounce. Throngs in thongs – a sight.

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*Locusts are the swarming phase of certain species.  They can breed rapidly under suitable conditions and subsequently become gregarious and migratory when their populations become dense enough. They form bands as nymphs and swarms as adults. Both the bands and the swarms are nomadic.”

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Welcome to Florida~