Tag Archives: Plastic Surgery

Dr Slice and Dice – Florida’s finest

pink high rise building
Breasts, Buttz, and Nose

My new dentist’s office was located in a towering pink and white skyscraper. White sky scrapers are everywhere. In South Florida- buildings with pink stripes are not unusual. On Dixie Highway, people in the know call the building “Knose, Bressts and Butts.   The Pink Palace is the go-to address  for a plethora of plastic surgeons…who makeup up the majority of tenants.

My appointment with a dental hygienist was slated for 7:30 AM with directions to arrive early for paperwork.

As I pulled into the vast garage- where even the walls were painted pink and white- I saw a parade of sleek, black, limos lined up …out the length of the building.

 There I saw, one by one, women swathed in bandages and headscarves gently assisted into the limos and whisked away.

As a parked my yellow VW bug, I was intrigued by the car choreography.

I walked cautiously towards the entrance and the limo line. A man dressed in a black turtleneck and black slacks, with the clipboard gave me a nod, a small smile, and rolled his eyes.

I walked up and said “ Hey, what’s going on?”

 He said, in the South in the mouth drawl,  “ These are the ladies of Doctor Slice and Dice. … all the pretty ladies. I call them all “Barbie.” With new butts, boobs, smaller noses and tummy tucks. Darlin, they are all on their way to the Barbie Hilton for RnR – Rest and recovery.

 FACT:These women can’t look in a mirror for one week because there’s bruised as a mango. In week number two, all bandages are off and it was worth it.

buff woman
Having Work Done

A woman wearing hot pink, velvet, Juicy running suit was wheeled out. She had oversized Armani glasses over her bandaged eyes, a red Birkin bag, and a diamond the size of an egg was on her right hand. Her limo was a Bentley.

Welcome to Florida.

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Overheard at the Miami doctor’s office…


There were two women sitting across from one another, at a famed Miami Plastic Surgery suite of offices.

Both were thumbing through glossy magazines and chatting while glancing up at the long list of   “Miami’s Dr. Marvelous’ Menu of Augmentations and Services” dancing on the huge, sleek, black, wide screen TV across from them.

Le Menu:

Breast Augmentation – Breast Lift | Breast Reconstruction – Breast Reduction – Brazilian Butt Lift-  Liposuction | Male Breast Reduction – Nipple Procedures – Tummy Tuck – Mommy Makeover  – Ear Surgery –  Eyelid Surgery – Facelift – Facial Implants | Forehead/Brow Lift | Fat Grafting | Necklift | Nose Surgery | Hand Rejuvenation | Injectable Facial Fillers | Laser Skin Resurfacing ….

Woman #1 Says: There are two things you never ask for in this office.

Woman #2 Says: Really? Tell me – this is my first time.

Woman #1 (without missing a beat) Says: “Never ask for a ‘Kim Novak’ or a ‘Liza Minnelli’

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Women helping Women

one day at a time…

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http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/05/prompt-sleep

Miami Vice: Plastic Surgery rampant in So Florida?

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Bizarro World– an alternate universe where things are in Reverse…

for centuries women have slimmed, girdled, and exercised to erase ample derrières

(Satan get behind me!)

 In the year 2019: Miami women ask:

“Do these pants make my butt look bigger? They do? Oh, good!”

Talking Floridian:

Women, in the know, call a BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift)

a

‘Rear End’

as in, “Last week, I saw Dr. Butz and I got Rear-ended.”

 

images-154BEFORE

images-29AFTER a great deal of work

Florida Billboard: boosting Brazilian Butt Lift? Seriously?

 The actual billboard across from the Mall on Biscayne Blvd in Miami actually said:

 

“Hey! Look at me! Brazilian Butt Lift only $4999″*

 

Stunned – I snapped a photo of the billboard – while driving  …. and this is what I shot…IMG_0248

*Imagine, children,  a huge billboard –  

with a “Before” photograph of two old saggy – buns next to another photograph  of  an  

“After” photograph of two 20-year old buns.

You get the picture. Welcome to South Florida…

“My parents didn’t want to move to Florida,

but they turned sixty and that’s the law.”

Jerry Seinfeld

Top 10 great things about Miami

A tropical resort at sunrise.IMG_0345

Today’s Top 10 Best of Miami

1.  The fabulous Perez Museum (www.pamm.org)

2.  Viscaya Gardens and Museum (www.vizcaya.org)
3.  Water Taxis – Not a yacht? Take a Water Taxi
4.  Art Basel – need I say more?
5.  Hollywood Beach Broadwalk: The Best Beach in So Florida
6.  Don’t Panic: Josh’s Organic Once a Week Perfect Produce Stand
7.  Wintertime in Miami- Bring it
8.  Valet Parking at the grocery store. Really.
9.  The NOVA Campus Alvin Sherman Library – free to the public
10. Biking, boating, sailing, skating, scuba, canoeing, fishing, kayaking, golfing, playing tennis outdoors in January…February…

 

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Panic