Tag Archives: Relationships

Dumb and Dumber II?

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Look, Daddy!

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Seeking approval from Daddy.

I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.

Charles Schwab

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The Secret to avoiding birthdays

 

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Too Many Candles on That Cake?

Feedling frumpy and lumpy and old?

Do Not Despair. 

The famous American philosopher, Jack Benny, embraced the secret to the aging process. 

pexels-photo-302561.jpegAge is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

 

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“Gags die, humor doesn’t.”

The famous “Stuck at 39” was a funny running gag that got started the year after Jack Benny celebrated his “first” 39 birthday on his radio show.

Take note, he said it was so much fun, he decided to do the same thing the following year. He said “There’s nothing funny about 40.” Mr.Benny, my idol,  would celebrate his 39 birthday 41 times.

Cheer Up, Binkie – age is a many splintered thing.

 

 

Forlorn

Top 9 Worst Pick Up lines

  1. “Hey, babe. Do you have just a few minutes for me to hit on you?”

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  1. Hi, my name is [your name], but you can call me “Tonight.”

  2. “You know…I’m not actually this tall. I’m sitting on my wallet.”

  3. “Babe, If looks could kill, you’d be a weapon of mass destruction.

  4. “Whoa, if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.

  5. “You know, just like a broken pencil, life without you is pointless.”

7.”Hey there. Now don’t tell me if you want me to take you out to dinner. Just smile for “yes” or do a backflip for “no.”

  1. “If I had four quarters to give to the four prettiest girls in the world, you would have a Dollar.”

mayhem-tile-gps(You totally  bombed on that one, Dude) 

  1. “Bam! You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.”

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Remember, it is all about the delivery and sincerity…corny quotes and canned jokes are a turn off.

You can do better. 

“Always be yourself, express yourself,

have faith in yourself,

do not go out and look for a successful personality

and duplicate it.”

Bruce Lee

Delivery

What happens on St Patrick’s day…

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He arrived in a cloud of bravado – replete with kilt, bagpipes and a brusque manner.

His faux brogue, and canned Irish quips were as welcomed as the cacophony from his bona fide, squeaky, bagpipes.

Siobhan thought he was the epitome of charisma. Kelly and Kathleen, the twins, were beguiled by his elan. His legs weren’t bad either.

As the day unfolded, and more Irish Coffees were passed around the room, the dilettante playing barkeep- kept filling trays with shots of Bushmill’s.

The man in the kilt grew more attractive. The camaraderie of the clan- all wearing shades of green and all manner of cliche Irish memorabilia- intensified. Capricious kissing and flagrant flirting were an anomaly – seen rarely – on weeknights and always on March 17th – St Patricks Day. Slainte!

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Politeness and Civility?

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Speak Out

Something is rotten in the state…

Department…

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Q. Why have Guns at Schools?  

A. To protect children from Grizzley Bears

 

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Betsy Betsy Besty

 

 

Scent

Peaceful Resistance Party Recipe

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