Tag Archives: south Florida

Oh! Myammy: Top 10 Best Columns South Florida

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Oh, Myammy Top 10 Best Columns

The readers have voted.

Listed here are the Top 10 Best Columns for New in Myammy

What happens when a California girl – lands in South Florida and tries to navigate the intracoastal and interesting new aspects of daily life?
You’ve got the obvious weather challenges, the bizarre traffic, the pythons and the Panthers, snowbirds, snowflakes – who knew? 
Everyone says, keep a sense of humor-  and you’ll go places. 
Oh! The places you will go.

1. When people say Florida is hot, they’re not kidding – Shall I compare thee to a hot summer’s day– a hot sonnet for a summer’s day.

2. The Top 10 Phrases you will never hear in South Florida; skiing, snow, Safe Drivers Awards, Wonderful cabbies…

3. Psst! Hey you, wanna know: The Top Five Secrets No One EverTalks About in South Florida? Check This Out

 4. The Age Game: Is Sex on the Beach Different at 50?  Are we talking:  Beach Blanket Bingo? Fugetaboutit

5. The Miami Vice? “Nip and Tuck, Snip and Cut – I’m ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille –Overheard at the Miami doctor’s office

6. Lizards and geckos and snakes, oh, no!  Welcome to Reptile World – they are everywhere. And, Hey! I didn’t get the memo about the alligators, pythons, and other slimy creatures in South Florida

7. I’ve Got a Crush on You : Billy Collins “My Love Affair” – or, “It happened on an airplane.”

8. California Dreamin’ Really, just how different is California? You want that alphabetical or chronological? Think: Southern Living without the Southern… California living? Check Here

9. Strangers in a Strange Land  You bet!

10. The Best of Myammy List 2014 – Miami is a blazing mosaic of color, tropical energies, action, arts, sunsets and breathtakingly beautiful beaches… and one has to be careful not to fly too close to the sun.

 

 

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Our neighbors are legendary, Latin, and loud

Palm tree and sky

Welcome the South Florida – there goes the neighborhood.

Legendary

Neighborhood rumors are that the great-grandfather fashioned a raft made of mannequin body parts, used the mannequin arms as paddles, and in the dead of night, the family escaped Cuba and arrived on the beaches of Florida.

The legend goes, the waters were treacherous, and usual dancing dolphins not did shepherd them – but a phalanx of alligators escorted them – day and night -to freedom.  A bounty of ripe coconuts bobbing by provided food and drink. Tiny, tasty fish jumped from the sea onto the raft for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Despite those ‘miracles’ they report their harrowing story makes Hemingway’s Old Man and the Sea look like a canoe ride in Central Park.

Welcome the Neighborhood

The Loud Family – not the PBS special

On the Fourth of July our traditions involve red, white, and blue Bunting, strawberries, blueberries, and sparklers.

Theirs involve guns, Sky Flyers, Roman Candles and Screeching Rockets.  And, more guns.  Why does anybody shoot at the sky?

Our Christmas celebration involves a tree, colored lights and tinsel and Bing Crosby crooning Mele Kalikimaka…

Their Christmas celebration involves a month long production of decorating every square inch of the exterior house with colored lights, so bright that you can read a book at midnight by the light of their decorations.  Neighbors have taken to buying  blackout curtains to use in December.

For some reason, the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ inspires more loud Salsa music, guns and shooting at the sky.  (Hey! Santa Claus is up there!) The symbolism is lost on me.

Our Easter involves colored eggs and lots of chocolate.  Their Easter celebration involves 10 cars and several motorcycles parked on their front lawn; barbecuing a baby goat; loud Salsa music for two days; gales of laughter; clouds of cigar smoke and more guns. Again, with the shooting at the sky.

The legendary, loud family – is very friendly and extremely gracious, and, at one time, they invited all the neighbors to their various celebrations. The guns were a buzzkill.

Home Sweet Home?

In South Florida, you see many homes with two chairs on the front porch. When the weather is cooler, people sit on the porch – perhaps, sipping iced tea? Our friendly neighbors have six chairs, a keg, a boom-box and a tiny disco ball.

There goes the neighborhood…

We heard today that the neighborhood has gotten too quiet for the family and they are moving to South Beach. Evidently, Great-grandpa owns a few condo buildings in Miami and he will move the families. Go figure.

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The Legend of the Loud Family

Grandpa had a small department store in Cuba and each evening he would bring home a mannequin part to his tiny garage. He fashioned a raft using bits and pieces of the store mannequins.

The day of the great escape, each of his sons playfully carried one quarter of the raft to the beach. Each of the daughters nonchalantly carried mannequin arms to the getaway point on the beach. The story goes, the 10 family members boarded the body raft, used the arms as paddled and they landed in the Florida Keys.

They caught a wave, the phalanx of alligators escorted into the shore and they walked to Miami.  Grandpa arrived with a quarter clenched in his teeth.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Oh wait, yes you can.

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